Chocolate Almond Bread (Paleo, Low Carb)

choc almond

I love a solid adventure.

Recently, I was in Scandinavia and the UK. Talk about an adventure.The lands of funny languages and wonky accents.

Seriously though. When I was in a Danish church listening to the priest give a homily my ear was all weirded out because over the course of the sermon I was convinced I heard the following phrases:

-Live Streaming


-We want SWINE!! *congregation nods in equally vehement agreement*

-Pale fox

-Burn the waffles

I’m not sure how accurately these English phrases I somehow heard translate what was actually going on in Danish, but hopefully I got pretty close.

The Danish people also rarely jaywalk. Being from Chicago, I was mind-boggled by this. I too often felt like being a rebel and  leaping and bounding across the street recklessly screaming “Look at me I’m a tourist! Whee!”

Next, we headed on to Norway. The fact that someone would actually need a sign like this makes me question humanity the tiniest bit:

funny sign

Then in Scotland my family went axe throwing. In the middle of the countryside in some sketchy shack. Seriously who does that? Apparently we do. One of the fellows working there had a handshake stronger than a bear on steroids. We were informed that he has “broken many hands, and even more hearts”. As a female pianist, I felt very at risk.

We drove back from the Sketchy Axe Shack in the trunk of a van, in which a newspaper informed me of some dreadful scallop theft that had occurred in the area. Apparently, “This is a crime that would have required unique knowledge of processes used in gathering scallops.”

I’d be a bad scallop-thief.

By the time we got to our last stop in England, I was too wiped out to do more than go on a quick run with my dad. Of course, I got distracted, climbed up the side of a bridge, and creeped out some poor old lady as I emerged from above the railing. Oops.

Always down for a good adventure.


You know what else I’m down for? Well, OBVIOUSLY chocolate, but this time in a slightly different form: chocolate almond bread!! Yipee!! It’s as good as it sounds. This whole 9in loaf was gone in under 24 hours. Beware.

Chocolate Almond Bread

Makes one 9″ loaf


1/2 cup creamy almond butter

4 eggs

1/2 cup coconut flour

1/2 cup maple syrup

1/2 cup cacao powder

2/3 cup coconut oil (melted)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon sea salt

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 cup chopped dark chocolate (I used 100%)

1/2 cup slivered almonds, extra for topping

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar


  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and line a 9″ x 5″ loaf pan with parchment/grease
  2. In a large bowl, combine the almond butter, eggs, coconut flour, maple syrup, cacao powder, coconut oil, vanilla, salt, and cinnamon, ensuring the mixture is smooth and thoroughly mixed
  3. Mix in the chopped dark chocolate and slivered almonds
  4. Finally, in the baking soda and apple cider vinegar, mix, and transfer to greased/lined pan.
  5. Bake for 40 minutes, or until an inserted knife comes out clean (but be aware there might be melted chocolate that dirties the knife)
  6. Cool, and enjoy!

(It should be able to stay in an air-tight container in the fridge for a while, but I’m not exactly sure how long cause we definitely ate it before then!)



2 thoughts on “Chocolate Almond Bread (Paleo, Low Carb)

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