Romance is apparently overrated.
You see, my Babcia (Grandma) said it, and duh, she’s always right.
While my mom quizzed my sister on STDs for my sister’s microbiology course, my grandmother proclaims the following:
“Geez I’m never getting married to an old man again! They’re all so full of diseases! Between all those STDs, they’ll kill me before I have time to enjoy anything!”
Sister: You can always live in a happy platonic relationship with an old man.
Babcia: Platonic, Ha!! No, old men go strong til they’re eighty. There’s no staying away from them and their diseases!
I mean, I personally think we’d all be smartest to avoid those particular experiences all together from the start. Obviously.
On a slightly-related-but-not-really note, I read that the average height of men in the United States is 5’9.7″ and continues to decline. Seriously how depressing for me is that?? That’s almost a whole inch shorter than I am. About five inches shorter when I’m in my favorite heels. My mother says that the world eats too much genetically-modified-growth-stunting gluten, but I think it’s just a sign that I really should agree with my grandmother.
Time to live up that social single life in the last few days before school eats me up whole. But hey, I’m not complaining. Nerd classes make fantastic boyfriend substitutes.
You know what else makes a fantastic boyfriend substitute? Chocoalte ice cream. Especially with perfect little bits of chocolate added into the already chocolate yumminess. Make some and never feel sad or lonely again.
PS In case you didn’t know, Stracciatella means “little rags” in Italian. So Stracciatella ice cream refers to tiny happy rag-lets of chocolate in the ice cream. Wheee.
Chocolate Stracciatella Ice Cream
Makes 3-4 cups
2 14oz cans coconut milk (chilled for a few minutes in the fridge)
3/4 cups maple syrup
1/2 cup cacao powder
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 oz 100% bakers chocolate (or any very dark chocolate)
- Melt the dark chocolate in a double boiler
- While chocolate is melting, combine chilled milk, maple syrup, cacao powder, vanilla, and salt in a chilled metal bowl until thoroughly mixed.
- Pour the melted chocolate into the ice cream mixture while continually stirring. The melted chocolate will solidify in very small shavings when it hits the colder milk. Make sure to stir constantly when combining.
- Follow the directions on your ice cream maker to freeze the ice cream. (I had mine in for about 20-30 minutes)
- Serve immediately, or place in a plastic container and store in freezer.
- If you are planing to store ice cream, note that after it comes out if the freezer it freezes over slightly and is hard. Before serving, allow it to sit at room temperature for about 10 minutes, or until it regains desired consistency.