Coconut Lime Cupcakes (Paleo, Low carb, Nut free)

coconut lime

As I quickly approach the dawn of  my sophomore year, here is a nice compilation of the fact I have learned during my first year as a university student:

1. Living on the edge includes wearing crop tops to a business casual event.

2. Freshman engineers have the  great opportunity to learn all the computer programming  skills needed to do absolutely nothing useful.

3. Instructing students to go to cemeteries for  a biology assignment is apparently entirely reasonable.

4. Certain male flies present their mates with food for “prolonged copulation”. Basically, give her food, she’ll have longer sex. Most reasonable thing I’ve read all semester. Continue reading

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Triple Chocolate Cookies (Paleo, low carb)

triple chocolate

Hi, remember me? Want to know why I’ve been away all semester? I’ve been busy learning  a  lot of things from many people. Here is a list of people  who taught me many important things.

#1: MOST TEACHER’S  ASSISTANTS

Me: My code isn’t compiling. Can you fix it?

TA #1: It’s  because your code isn’t working.

Me: I know, can you fix  it?

TA #1:  Its not working because it’s not compiling.

Me: I know, can you fix it?

TA #1: You see, the computer is finding an error in your code.

Me: I know, can you fix it?

TA #1: You see the red  error message? Something is wrong with your code.

Me: Thanks for all your amazing help!!

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Raspberry Chocolate Bread (Paleo, Nut free, Low carb)

Christmas Eve: Where Ukrainian families eat a lot, sing, pray, talk about food, and eat some more.

No, seriously, we traditionally have 12 dishes and call it a “fast” simply because there’s no meat.

Besides eating, activities in my family  include games of “Who can  make the best pigeon out of modeling clay without looking at a picture of a pigeon” (I won), exciting episodes of “Which of Dionna’s dragon action figures will win the battle choreographed by her 6 year old cousin”, and wondering why on earth my other cousin’s child wanted a laminator for Christmas.

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Almond Caramel Cookies (Paleo) 


So I have a slight ongoing problem.

In person, I’m generally considered decently cute by the outside world. Or at least, I pretend that I’m cute and people usually believe it.

But now for the slight ongoing problem:

I’m entirely un-photogenic.

You may argue, “Dionna, That’s not true! I’ve seen good pictures of you so many times!” But here’s the thing: I have to make a very concentrated effort to look good in pictures. Does it work sometimes? Yes. But is it a struggle? So very much.

You know how much I enjoy compiling random lists, so today I compile a list of problems cute-but-un-photogenic people have.

1. You can’t flirt on Snapchat. 

Haha!! If a boy ever asks me for a cute picture, have no doubt that I’ll be sending him one of my plush neuron, cause it’s much cuter than I’ll ever look according to a front-facing camera. And hey, nobody’s loss there. But purposefully ugly snapchat faces? I’m a total pro at those. Believe me.

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Chocolate Coffee Ganache Tart (Paleo, Nut-free, Low carb)

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HI PEOPLE CAN YOU HEAR ME FROM UNDER THIS PILE OF SCHOOLWORK I SWEAR I’M STILL ALIVE.

But that’s not the point here. The point here is to forget about the fact that finals are in 2 weeks. The point here is to talk about completely useless and unrelated things. As usual.

Today’s topic: DATING!!  How to date efficiently. How to date successfully. How to avoid losers. (For the record, the majority of my personal dating experience can be summed up in the phrase “let’s study together” but I think I can still offer valuable information.)

POINT A: How to keep conversation alive

Ask questions! It’s easy to run out of generic questions like “Are you a nice person?” or “Do your parents like each other?”Next time, maybe try more insightful things like, “What’s your favorite tree?” or “What are your thoughts on kumquats?” or “If tulips had a voice, what kind of voice would they have?” Much more productive.

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Coffee Choc. Chip Cookie Dough Truffles (Paleo, Egg-free, Low carb)

ccccd-truffles

So I have some problems with automatic toilets.

And yes, I’m talking about toilets on a food blog.

I’m a rebel.

Anyhow, let’s get this straight. Automatic toilets are supposed to be the sanitary no-hand alternative to flushing, right? But what actually triggers them to flush? I could never figure it out. Is it wiggling? Is it jumping up and down? Is it breathing loudly?? Does it have nothing to do with me and does the toilet just flush whenever the heck it wants? I honestly have no clue.

Let’s talk about some of the automatic toilets at my school. Continue reading