Coconut Lime Cupcakes (Paleo, Low carb, Nut free)

coconut lime

As I quickly approach the dawn of  my sophomore year, here is a nice compilation of the fact I have learned during my first year as a university student:

1. Living on the edge includes wearing crop tops to a business casual event.

2. Freshman engineers have the  great opportunity to learn all the computer programming  skills needed to do absolutely nothing useful.

3. Instructing students to go to cemeteries for  a biology assignment is apparently entirely reasonable.

4. Certain male flies present their mates with food for “prolonged copulation”. Basically, give her food, she’ll have longer sex. Most reasonable thing I’ve read all semester. Continue reading

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Triple Chocolate Cookies (Paleo, low carb)

triple chocolate

Hi, remember me? Want to know why I’ve been away all semester? I’ve been busy learning  a  lot of things from many people. Here is a list of people  who taught me many important things.

#1: MOST TEACHER’S  ASSISTANTS

Me: My code isn’t compiling. Can you fix it?

TA #1: It’s  because your code isn’t working.

Me: I know, can you fix  it?

TA #1:  Its not working because it’s not compiling.

Me: I know, can you fix it?

TA #1: You see, the computer is finding an error in your code.

Me: I know, can you fix it?

TA #1: You see the red  error message? Something is wrong with your code.

Me: Thanks for all your amazing help!!

Continue reading

Raspberry Chocolate Bread (Paleo, Nut free, Low carb)

Christmas Eve: Where Ukrainian families eat a lot, sing, pray, talk about food, and eat some more.

No, seriously, we traditionally have 12 dishes and call it a “fast” simply because there’s no meat.

Besides eating, activities in my family  include games of “Who can  make the best pigeon out of modeling clay without looking at a picture of a pigeon” (I won), exciting episodes of “Which of Dionna’s dragon action figures will win the battle choreographed by her 6 year old cousin”, and wondering why on earth my other cousin’s child wanted a laminator for Christmas.

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Coffee Choc. Chip Cookie Dough Truffles (Paleo, Egg-free, Low carb)

ccccd-truffles

So I have some problems with automatic toilets.

And yes, I’m talking about toilets on a food blog.

I’m a rebel.

Anyhow, let’s get this straight. Automatic toilets are supposed to be the sanitary no-hand alternative to flushing, right? But what actually triggers them to flush? I could never figure it out. Is it wiggling? Is it jumping up and down? Is it breathing loudly?? Does it have nothing to do with me and does the toilet just flush whenever the heck it wants? I honestly have no clue.

Let’s talk about some of the automatic toilets at my school. Continue reading

Sweet Apple Spice Loaf (Paleo, Low carb, Nut free option)


I’m a bit busy.

More specifically, I’m 18-credit-hours-plus-research-plus-CrossFit-plus-rock-climbing-plus-clubs-plus-commuting-plus-baking busy.

I’m currently still alive, but there are certain things I simply do not have time for.

Like the following:

1. Obnoxious assignments that resemble high school more than high school did. Remember when I mentioned how in bio we looked at the letter E under a microscope? Yeah, no fun. I do not feel enlightened.

2. Boys who can’t flirt, but put hearty effort into trying. For example, that guy at the gym who didn’t realize “I find you very attractive, you are so strong, can I have your number” isn’t a good pick up line. Continue reading

Chocolate Stracciatella Ice Cream (Paleo, nut free, egg free, low carb)

Romance is apparently overrated.

You see, my Babcia (Grandma) said it, and duh, she’s always right.

While my mom quizzed my sister on STDs for my sister’s microbiology course, my grandmother proclaims the following:

“Geez I’m never getting married to an old man again! They’re all so full of diseases! Between all those STDs, they’ll kill me before I have time to enjoy anything!”

Sister: You can always live in a happy platonic relationship with an old man.

Babcia: Platonic, Ha!! No, old men go strong til they’re eighty. There’s no staying away from them and their diseases!

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Chocolate Chili Cupcakes (Paleo, Nut free, Low Carb)

chili chocolate muffins

Back when I was a little squirt of a child, I considered myself quite the talented author. I wrote many a work that is actually awfully entertaining strictly because it is so bad.

When I was about 10, I attempted to write an adventure story about a villus. Yes, a villus as in the fold in your small intestine that increases surface area and maximizes absorption of nutrients into the body.

AN ADVENTURE STORY ABOUT A VILLUS.

It was a story about two countries, Anatomy Island and Infection Island, which were constantly at war. Our heroic Villus was spending the day sending germs to Liver-town and not letting them get past him and into the rest of the body.

That story didn’t turn out very well.

But as you can see, I was quite the nerd from day one.

Continue reading