As I quickly approach the dawn of my sophomore year, here is a nice compilation of the fact I have learned during my first year as a university student:
1. Living on the edge includes wearing crop tops to a business casual event.
2. Freshman engineers have the great opportunity to learn all the computer programming skills needed to do absolutely nothing useful.
3. Instructing students to go to cemeteries for a biology assignment is apparently entirely reasonable.
4. Certain male flies present their mates with food for “prolonged copulation”. Basically, give her food, she’ll have longer sex. Most reasonable thing I’ve read all semester. Continue reading
Christmas Eve: Where Ukrainian families eat a lot, sing, pray, talk about food, and eat some more.
No, seriously, we traditionally have 12 dishes and call it a “fast” simply because there’s no meat.
Besides eating, activities in my family include games of “Who can make the best pigeon out of modeling clay without looking at a picture of a pigeon” (I won), exciting episodes of “Which of Dionna’s dragon action figures will win the battle choreographed by her 6 year old cousin”, and wondering why on earth my other cousin’s child wanted a laminator for Christmas.
I’m a bit busy.
More specifically, I’m 18-credit-hours-plus-research-plus-CrossFit-plus-rock-climbing-plus-clubs-plus-commuting-plus-baking busy.
I’m currently still alive, but there are certain things I simply do not have time for.
Like the following:
1. Obnoxious assignments that resemble high school more than high school did. Remember when I mentioned how in bio we looked at the letter E under a microscope? Yeah, no fun. I do not feel enlightened.
2. Boys who can’t flirt, but put hearty effort into trying. For example, that guy at the gym who didn’t realize “I find you very attractive, you are so strong, can I have your number” isn’t a good pick up line. Continue reading
So I’m about a month into college.
Here’s what I’ve been up to:
1.) I’ve learned many things. For example, that introductory biology labs are extremely boring. Our first lab involved looking at the letter E under a microscope. THE LETTER E. OMG it’s upside down you don’t say! How enlightening.
2.) I’ve met many people. Like the guy who awkwardly flirted with me on the first day of school whom I later saw at a concert, thought was someone else, looked waay too happy to see, and ran away from quickly once I realized my mistake. All in all, an educational experience.
3.) I’ve done lots of cool things. I have made the most gorgeous doodles while bored in one of my engineering classes. No kidding. They’re stunning.
Romance is apparently overrated.
You see, my Babcia (Grandma) said it, and duh, she’s always right.
While my mom quizzed my sister on STDs for my sister’s microbiology course, my grandmother proclaims the following:
“Geez I’m never getting married to an old man again! They’re all so full of diseases! Between all those STDs, they’ll kill me before I have time to enjoy anything!”
Sister: You can always live in a happy platonic relationship with an old man.
Babcia: Platonic, Ha!! No, old men go strong til they’re eighty. There’s no staying away from them and their diseases!
Back when I was a little squirt of a child, I considered myself quite the talented author. I wrote many a work that is actually awfully entertaining strictly because it is so bad.
When I was about 10, I attempted to write an adventure story about a villus. Yes, a villus as in the fold in your small intestine that increases surface area and maximizes absorption of nutrients into the body.
AN ADVENTURE STORY ABOUT A VILLUS.
It was a story about two countries, Anatomy Island and Infection Island, which were constantly at war. Our heroic Villus was spending the day sending germs to Liver-town and not letting them get past him and into the rest of the body.
That story didn’t turn out very well.
But as you can see, I was quite the nerd from day one.
I travel quite a bit, so I like to consider myself a decently worldly person.
Recently though, I’ve had a few conversations that have made me realize how unaware I am of the outside world.
Friend (On a mission trip in Australia): This trip is fantastic! …But scary sometimes.
Me: OMG what happened??
Friend: All the guys slept inside our little house and made us girls sleep outside in flimsy tents and I could hear the wild dogs screaming nearby and the poisonous bugs scurrying.
Lesson #1: Men who are overdosed with kindly mission work end up throwing chivalry out the window after a certain point, and no longer care for the welfare of the women around them. No mission trips for me! I only like nice men.