I’m a bit busy.
More specifically, I’m 18-credit-hours-plus-research-plus-CrossFit-plus-rock-climbing-plus-clubs-plus-commuting-plus-baking busy.
I’m currently still alive, but there are certain things I simply do not have time for.
Like the following:
1. Obnoxious assignments that resemble high school more than high school did. Remember when I mentioned how in bio we looked at the letter E under a microscope? Yeah, no fun. I do not feel enlightened.
2. Boys who can’t flirt, but put hearty effort into trying. For example, that guy at the gym who didn’t realize “I find you very attractive, you are so strong, can I have your number” isn’t a good pick up line. Continue reading
So I’m about a month into college.
Here’s what I’ve been up to:
1.) I’ve learned many things. For example, that introductory biology labs are extremely boring. Our first lab involved looking at the letter E under a microscope. THE LETTER E. OMG it’s upside down you don’t say! How enlightening.
2.) I’ve met many people. Like the guy who awkwardly flirted with me on the first day of school whom I later saw at a concert, thought was someone else, looked waay too happy to see, and ran away from quickly once I realized my mistake. All in all, an educational experience.
3.) I’ve done lots of cool things. I have made the most gorgeous doodles while bored in one of my engineering classes. No kidding. They’re stunning.
Once a boy came up to my sister and asked her, quite nervously, “Do you know what’s harder than calc 3 and organic chem combined? Asking a girl out on a date…”
It sorta just got awkwarder from there.
And for the record, my sister said no.
But my real point here is not to recap some fellow’s failed quest for my sister, but rather to show that there are many many things harder than calc 3, organic chem, and asking a girl out on a date combined.
Included are the following:
Romance is apparently overrated.
You see, my Babcia (Grandma) said it, and duh, she’s always right.
While my mom quizzed my sister on STDs for my sister’s microbiology course, my grandmother proclaims the following:
“Geez I’m never getting married to an old man again! They’re all so full of diseases! Between all those STDs, they’ll kill me before I have time to enjoy anything!”
Sister: You can always live in a happy platonic relationship with an old man.
Babcia: Platonic, Ha!! No, old men go strong til they’re eighty. There’s no staying away from them and their diseases!
Back when I was a little squirt of a child, I considered myself quite the talented author. I wrote many a work that is actually awfully entertaining strictly because it is so bad.
When I was about 10, I attempted to write an adventure story about a villus. Yes, a villus as in the fold in your small intestine that increases surface area and maximizes absorption of nutrients into the body.
AN ADVENTURE STORY ABOUT A VILLUS.
It was a story about two countries, Anatomy Island and Infection Island, which were constantly at war. Our heroic Villus was spending the day sending germs to Liver-town and not letting them get past him and into the rest of the body.
That story didn’t turn out very well.
But as you can see, I was quite the nerd from day one.
I travel quite a bit, so I like to consider myself a decently worldly person.
Recently though, I’ve had a few conversations that have made me realize how unaware I am of the outside world.
Friend (On a mission trip in Australia): This trip is fantastic! …But scary sometimes.
Me: OMG what happened??
Friend: All the guys slept inside our little house and made us girls sleep outside in flimsy tents and I could hear the wild dogs screaming nearby and the poisonous bugs scurrying.
Lesson #1: Men who are overdosed with kindly mission work end up throwing chivalry out the window after a certain point, and no longer care for the welfare of the women around them. No mission trips for me! I only like nice men.
When I was 10 years old, I wanted to run away from home.
Don’t worry, I was quite decently looked after. I simply felt that my place was in the forest among my animal brethren rather than in a decently stylish, comfortable, large, suburban home (Duh. Easy choice).
I had everything very well planned out. To my mother’s surprise, I took a sudden interest in banking (Not telling her, of course, that it was to make sure I knew how to withdraw money from her account as needed). In addition, I had a set of blueprints for the simple cottage I would build, as well as alternative plans just in case something changed (also because I was bored and liked drawing houses).
I even had a spot picked out in the forest.
Then, suddenly, while adding the finishing touches to my plan, I remembered something.